October

We went for our winter turtle walk sign-ups and saw two Box Turtles while we were on the Cape. We weighed and measured them. First, a female, #299. The second was a male, #188.




While we were out there, we poked around and saw a Bullfrog and a few Painted Turtles.




I had seen a yearling Racer in the woods but was unable to get a photo or catch it.

These terrapins are from the last hatched nest of the season.


The next day, we went to the mountain to see if any Milk Snake babies were where we suspected they'd be. It was warm and extremely humid and the sun was not out. It was great Redback weather and we saw many. Note that the top guy has to share the underside of his log with a bag of dog shit, put there by a lazy asshole.



Andrea found this beautiful Green Frog.


An Eft.


We got to the top and to the Milk Snake spot. Andrea flipped a large stone, called to me for help and I lifted it up safely for her to extract this baby Milk.

It was perfect, but not for long.

We showed it to a little girl and her mum, but there was an endless parade of people coming by. We released the snake and told the little whelps not to walk on the rocks... things live under there. When there (finally) wasn't any more people around, I relifted the rock so we could get better shots. In doing so, I injured the snake, making me the biggest fucking hypocrite on the planet.

For somebody who always advocates safety, I obviously didn't listen to my own advice and made a really stupid mistake. Andrea didn't notice the damage, but I saw the snake moving weird, saw a slightly flattened spot on its back and, going into immediate denial, I put it down to crawl back to safety. I easily busted a couple of its ribs.

So, what did I learn? That I'm a piece of shit who should listen to my own soap-box ramblings, for one. Also, I will never tip a pock again. I did the same thing to a Ringneck's tail earlier this year. If my fucking hobby endangers the life of an animal, then maybe I'd better just find something different. If a rock can't be safely  lifted, it stays in place. It is utter bullshit that I still act like such a trophy herping piece of fuck, the kind of person I hate sharing the planet with.

I'm not letting this go. I'm ashamed, I have belittled myself and everything I stand for and I find it very difficult to look anyone in the eye, especially Andrea. I have cried, punched myself in the ugly fucking face and hated myself even more than usual. Hopefully, I never get over it or get comfortable ever again. Remember the Garter I killed a few years ago? I've been called "deranged" by some little fuck about how I felt about that but it still haunts me and it should haunt me forever. If I can't do it right, I shouldn't be allowed out in the woods.

It was hard to beat a hasty retreat when you're two miles up a mountain, but we did our best. I was tired, angry, sad, mad and filled with hatred. Poor Andrea. How she puts up with me and my totally unfocused bullshit, I'll never know. Parades of people kept passing us, making me realize that I never want to come back to this place anyway.

Andrea did see another Eft on the way down.


So, where do I go from here? How can I improve the lives of animals instead of stressing and injuring them? Turtle stranding season is coming up... I don't know how often we'll be on the beaches but I expect I'll have plenty of time to consider the future.

I saved a baby chipmunk from an over-crowded Savers yesterday before it got stomped on. That made for a slightly better feeling.