How To Catch a Snapping Turtle

It's quite easy and I'm going to show you how.

First, find a Snapping Turtle.


Next, get closer. Should you unexpectedly go into the muck up to your knees, simply get out of it.


Get close to your target.


Step off of the river bed with one leg (recommended) and go hip deep into the muck.


Extricate yourself. I find helplessly clawing at the sand is the way to go. Keep camera out of water.


Celebrate your escape.


Remember why you're doing this.


Pick up your Snapping Turtle. Do not lift it by the tail like the Animal Planet yokels. Do it properly.


Inspect your Snapping Turtle before returning it to the water.


Put it back. Should you lose your footing, a Snapper shell is always good for keeping your balance.


Celebrate your victory!


Step forward, ignoring the fact that it is pure muck in front of you, and go balls deep into it, both legs this time.


Since going forward wont be an option, hoist yourself out backwards towards the turtle to get yourself  onto the slightly more solid riverbed.


Step onto a fallen tree that just might hold your fat ass up and make a funny concentration face as you edge forward along the slippery branches.


Get yourself back to "shore"...


Cleanse yourself at any convenient, nearby waterfall.



So, if you follow my lesson, you too might be able to catch a Snapping Turtle! Don't get discouraged if you don't have success at first. Just keep applying yourself and soon you can be almost as cool as me.